Pursue Your Dreams & Defeat Your Fears: A Working Mama’s Guide
By the end of this guide, you will: Have a clear vision of how to pursue your dreams and have a plan for making it happen.
You will need:
- A notebook
- A pen or pencil
- A big dream that has lost its luster yet refuses to be extinguished.
Why You’re Here
As women, we’re faced with a unique choice in life—do we stay the course and devote our lives to our children and families? Or do we sacrifice the time we’d otherwise spend at home and take a chance on our burning desire to achieve something more?
Let me let you in on a secret. You can have it all—a thriving career and a happy family life. But it’s not going to be easy. First, you’ll have to train your mind to overcome the most significant hurdle between you and living the life you’ve always dreamed of—fear.
Fear is the number one enemy of success. It holds us back from taking risks and reaching our full potential. But we’re not going to let fear stand in our way any longer! You’re here because you’re ready for your breakthrough. You’ve made up your mind to reach your full potential. In this guide, I’ll show you how to take control of your fears and use them to fuel your drive to achieve your goals.
So buckle in, lady!
Piecing Together the Dream
“20 years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain
Think of all the different roles you play in a day. Caregiver, employee, neighbor, lover, friend, disciple, daughter, sister…
But who are you to the person who matters most—yourself?
Are you a cheerleader and a source of strength? Or are you your own worst critic, constantly putting yourself down and holding yourself back? Maybe you’re a little bit of both. As women, we’re complex, neither wholly positive nor negative, but a puzzle filled with a million pieces we’re constantly trying to force together into something whole.
So let’s start by reflecting on your biggest puzzle pieces, the ones that make up your personal, professional, mental, and spiritual self.
In an ideal world, how would your puzzle look if everything fit together perfectly? What would be true at work? What would life look like at home?
Maybe you envision yourself as CEO, Mother-of-the-Year, and a long-distance runner with a killer bod to boot. These achievements would be worth celebrating, but they’re surface-level, and that’s not what I’m talking about here. It’s time to get real.
What would it take to make you happy on a day-to-day basis? Conversely, what are the things you dread about your daily existence that bring you down? What are the dreams you set aside years ago because you wrote yourself off as not good enough?
Hold onto that thought; we’re going to explore it more deeply.
Activity 1: Vision Boarding (Difficulty: Easy)
You’ll need to get clear on what you want before you can start taking steps to achieve it. So take out that notebook, mama, because I want you to journal about a few things now.
Journaling is an invitation to reflect, manifest, and set your intentions. It’s how you take all the pieces in your life that don’t quite fit together yet and reshape them to form a world that brings you joy, contentment, and pride.
In your notebook, take a few minutes to answer these questions:
- What are my top five values in life?
- What does an ideal day look like for me? (Bonus points for scripting it in first person as though you’re living it right then and there)
- What are my goals for the next five years?
- What is my personal definition of success?
Priming Your Mind For Success
“The mind is everything. What you think, you become.” -Buddha
You are what you think. Every thought you have shapes your reality, and every decision you make gets you one step closer to or further away from achieving your dreams.
It’s time for some tough love, mama. You’ll have to get real with yourself to see real results in your life. You are worthy of achieving your dreams, and you have to start acting like it now.
It all starts with your mindset. You have to believe that you can achieve anything you set your mind to before you ever take a single step towards making it a reality.
You are capable, you are competent, and you are enough. Any negative voices in your head telling you otherwise will have to take a backseat from now on. You’re the driver now, and your dreams are the destination.
It’s not going to be easy, but it is possible. You will have to work hard, push through your fears, and be willing to step outside of your comfort zone. But I promise you; it will be worth it.
Start by setting some simple intentions for yourself each day. When you wake up in the morning, take a few moments to think about what you want to achieve that day. Set a goal for yourself and make it your mission to accomplish it by the end of the day.
It doesn’t matter how big or small your goal is, just as long as you’re taking steps each day to move closer to achieving your dreams. You are capable of amazing things, mama. It’s time to start believing in yourself and let go of the negative self-perceptions holding you back so you can prime your mind for success.
Activity 2: Reframing Negative Self-Talk (Difficulty: Medium)
Now that you’ve got a good idea of what you want and who you want to be, it’s time to eliminate negative self-talk. Every time you catch yourself putting yourself down or comparing yourself unfavorably to others, I want you to reframe the thought in a positive light.
Grab your notebook, lady. It’s time to practice mindful self-talk.
I’m going to give you some common negative thoughts that women experience throughout their day, and I want you to write down a statement that reframes the idea more positively.
For example, if the statement “I’ll never be as successful as her” pops up in your mind, you might reframe it as “I am on my way to achieving my own version of success.”
Let’s give it a shot!
- “I don’t deserve to be happy.”
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I can’t do this.”
- “I’m not smart enough.”
- “I’m going to be stuck here my whole life.”
(Example answers below-no peeking!)
_____________________________________________________________________
How did it feel to reframe those negative thoughts? Here are some potential answers you may have written down:
- “I am worthy of happiness and will pursue it relentlessly.”
- “I’m doing the best I can.”
- “I’m scared to try, but I’ll never know if I don’t.”
- “I am good enough, and I am going to prove it to myself.”
- “Every day, I take one step closer to the place I want to be in my life.”
So next time your brain tells you something negative, stop and reframe the thought in a positive light. It may seem like a small change, but over time it will make a big difference in how you see yourself and your place in the world.
Vanquishing Your Fears
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” Paulo Coelho
Fear is the number one thing that keeps us from achieving our dreams. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, and fear of not being good enough are all common fears that prevent women from taking risks and pursuing their passions.
It’s time to face your fears head-on, mama. You’re not going to let them hold you back any longer.
Take a few moments to think about your fears and what they prevent you from doing. Once you’ve identified them, it’s time to start working on overcoming them.
The first step is to educate yourself about your fear. What is it really? Where did it come from? Is it based on fact or fiction? When you understand your fear, it will be easier to work through it.
Common fears we face as working moms with big dreams:
- The fear of failure
- Fear of not being good enough
- A fear of the unknown
- Fear of change
- Strong fear of loss
- Fear of not being able to do it all
So what scares you the most? Anything you’d like to add to the list?
Once you’ve identified your fear, it’s time to start working on conquering it.
Activity 3: Acknowledging Your Fears (Difficulty: Hard)
To achieve your dreams, you will have to face your fears head-on. So grab your journal, take a deep breath, and let’s make it happen by journaling about a few questions.
- When I think about the goals I want to achieve in life, what about those goals bring me anxiety or make me uncomfortable?
- Think about a time you failed in your life. What happened? How did it make you feel? How did you recover and move forward?
- What would happen if you never achieved your goal? How would that make you feel?
- What risks are associated with achieving your goal? How can you prepare for and mitigate the risks associated with your goal?
- What is the worst-case scenario if you take a risk and it doesn’t work out?
Remember, your fears are nothing more than thoughts in your head. You have the power to control your thoughts and how they make you feel. So acknowledge your fears, face them head-on, and don’t let them hold you back from achieving your dreams.
Pursuing Your Dreams
You’re not going to achieve your dreams by sitting on the sidelines. It’s time to get in the game and start pursuing your passions.
But how do you pursue your dreams when you have a full-time job and a family to care for?
Here are a few tips:
- Set realistic goals: Doing too much at once will only lead to frustration and burnout. Set small, achievable goals that you can work on little by little.
- Make time for your dreams: You must make time for what’s important to you. That might mean getting up a little earlier in the morning or staying up a little later at night, but it’s worth it to invest in your dreams.
- Find a support system: Having people who believe in you and your dreams is crucial for keeping you motivated and moving forward. Find friends, family members, or even an online community of like-minded individuals who can support and encourage you.
You can achieve your dreams, mama. It’s time to start pursuing them with everything you’ve got.
What are your thoughts? Do you have any fears or doubts holding you back from achieving your dreams? What steps are you going to take to overcome them? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. We’re all in this together!
Now that you’ve read this article, are you feeling more confident and motivated to pursue your dreams? If so, great! Keep moving forward, and don’t let anything stop you.
Final Thoughts
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