Is Fear Holding You & Your Dream of Success Hostage?
One of the topics that I devote a chapter to in The Playbook: Guide to Following Your Dreams is fear. Why? Because whether or not you want to say it aloud, MOST women that want to follow their dreams (or have already started out on a journey towards their own success as an entrepreneur) find that FEAR plays a larger role in their story than they ever imagined.
Let me give you an example of how fear keeps women from moving forward.
If I Write a Book, I Want it to be ‘A Huge Success’
At dinner, and with a glass of wine in hand, one of my friend’s shares her dream of writing a children’s book and making it a huge success.
‘YES!’ and ‘That’s AMAZING Dina!’ I said aloud. I was so excited to see her feeling creative and passionate and filled with vision.
To myself I thought: My friend will succeed because she’s so passionate about her work that she was able to share the scariest part of her dream with me. Saying something makes it feel real right? My friend didn’t just want to finish her book, she wanted it to be a HUGE SUCCCESS.
Making a statement like this and sharing the depth of your dream with anyone can be scary.
Fear Wants to Keep Your Dreams Locked Up Tight
Fear makes is hard to say what you really want—the success you really dream of—aloud. This is because it makes you feel vulnerable and as though you have to prove something. No one likes to fail. Once you announce to friends and family that you want to write a book or have started, something happens. Everyone is waiting for the end of the story.
For the dreamer (you!) this is the point at which the fear of failure can set in.
Fear of failure in business can be paralyzing
Fear of success in business can be equally daunting.
For Women That Want to Follow Their Dreams, Be Prepared
As you begin to pursue your dream DO NOT BE SHOCKED when you encounter fear.
A few weeks after my friend shared her hopes for the book, the conversation turned and suddenly she was sharing all her fears. Because she knows that I’m a business owner and a writer she also started asking me a lot of questions.
Dina’s questions sounded like this:
- What if I write the book and no one buys it?
- What if I invest money in this project and it just flops?
- What if my dream for a beautiful book isn’t what anyone else wants?
Fearful/Negative statements about her dream and all the hard work she was doing also began to follow these questions:
- I feel stuck
- I don’t know what to do next
- I feel overwhelmed
- Nothing is happening
- This will take forever
- I am wasting my time
Other Entrepreneurs Have Been Where You Are
As I listened to my friend, I knew what was happening because I had been there. Listening to my friend as she was writing her first children’s book and following her own dream for the first time was like listening to MYSELF.
I thought this was kind of funny and very interesting. WOW. When my friend started following her dreams she was mirroring the many emotions I had felt but she was saying them aloud.
Many of my own fears about business, success and dream following I kept inside. It was easy for me to be positive on the outside to others that were witnesses to my dream chasing (with all of its highs and lows) BUT, it was so much harder for me to talk about my own fears with the people around me.
Put Fear in The Trunk (of your mind)
AS I was busy writing The Playbook (which is my very first book!) I realized that being honest with women about just how scary the process of dream following can be, might be something that other women needed to hear.
As I was writing I wanted to warn women about fear and all of the damage that it can do to your dream of success.
Fear should not be given a front seat to your success. It belongs tied up in the trunk. LOL.
Build Your Confidence as You Build Your Business
My friend needed to hear that fear is actually NOT ‘the boss of you’ as Jennifer Allwood (another woman business owner) poignantly stated and titled a whole book after.
My friend needed to know that the thoughts fear tells your mind and heart ARE NOT TRUE. The moment that you give these thoughts an inch, they will try to stop you in your tracks. Fear does not want you to pursue your dream because your dream and your success require you to TAKE A RISK. Fear is and always will be risk averse.
If you are a woman that has a really big dream for yourself I encourage you to do something really important in the days ahead.
A special assignment for women that dream of success:
Write your dream down.
AND
Share your dream with a friend
One rule: do not minimize your dream or hold parts back. Write the whole dream down, even if you feel afraid to.
If this writing resonates with you and fear has kept you from following your dreams or you have a fear of failure in business, our best-selling resources, The Playbook: Guide to Following Your Dreams, can help you build confidence as you start following your dreams and launch your own epic business adventure.
If you’ve already read The Playbook, you probably know that I love quotes. I think the words and thoughts of other people can shed some light into your own thinking. They are like a fresh voice in your mind. Hearing ourselves can get old—especially when you feel fearful!
I loved this statement by Judy Blume to tie up this post:
“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.”
-Judy Blume
I hope you feel more ready to begin the adventure of following your dreams than ever.
If you have a comment on how fear has held you back from your dreams or how you defeated it, Million Dollar Mama Club ™ readers would love to hear from you! Please comment below.
Cheers to banishing fear by following your dreams one step at a time,
Jenna
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